Never Miss a Monday

My friend Cara has been saying for years "Never Miss a Monday" and today I get it. I never want to feel the way I felt today about moving my body. This has to be a life change. This morning I woke up at 5am and got ready which included using all sorts of sports stuff I have never heard of: Glide (which why they don't market this to chubby people I do not know!  If you don't know what this is look it up it's AMAZING!), electrolyte tablets, and foot tape. I then headed to my first class at 6am "knowing your gym" It was a lecture to go over each machine and the proper way to use it. I then headed to breakfast where I enjoyed an egg scramble with chicken sausage and veggies and a half of piece of toast with butter, that's right BUTTER (in it's own perfect little proportion size). Then it was time for the hike!

We left the resort at around 8am, I was in van one and our hike was Malibu Creek. The people in my group were nervous and the van was pretty quiet. The trail guides made it easier by playing some music and initiating conversation. I was nervous but just decided to breathe and see what happens. The hike started strong just walking at a pretty easy incline and then my calves started to tighten, which then went into full blown charlie horses. I talked to one of the amazing trail guides that Cara is friends with, who was on my hike, and she helped me stretch it out. But it was so locked up I could not get it loose. I walked on and then we were going up a bigger hill and I lost my breath, which turned into cramping and me hyperventilating. My trail guide was right there with me and I looked at her and said, "I am having an anxiety attack" She took me to a shaded area (it is super warm this week) to rest and talked me through it. When I caught my breath there was a hiker behind me that we met up with. We walked on a little more before turning around and starting back down the hill. The woman I was hiking with reassured me that I needed to just take my own pace and told me when we get back I should go to stretching.

I walked the rest of the hike back at my own pace,with few stops and pleasant conversations from different people as they passed me or walked with me. I felt calm and safe and still had a little tension in my leg but not awful. We all got back to the vans and I ate my snack on the Van, almonds and a banana, it's amazing how food really feels like fuel when you need it. As we drove back I made a quick facebook post about not making it all the way up the hill. When we arrived I went and changed my clothes, because they were GROSS! and headed to stretching. The breathing and stretching made everything easier and I felt like I could finish the day. (which is good because it was not even half over and little did I know the hardest part was yet to come.)

I then went to a class about heart rate and the essentials of the program. At noon it was time for lunch. We had a delicious greek chicken soup and a mixed salad with steak. Then it was off to circuit training, since I have little to no experience with exercise I had a rough idea what circuit training was but I had no idea how hard I would work. Our trainer was this tiny little wood sprite of a woman. She literally will stand on the machine as you are working out or lay under your body why you are doing a plank, she even sat on someones back today while they were doing pushups. She was AWESOME and reminded me of so many of my favorite people that push me to do more and be better. This class was 45 minutes and I had no time to think. I was running from machine to machine pushing, pulling, running, squatting, and every other thing you can think of. When there was an exercise I could not do she would come over and modify it for me and when I couldn't do the modification she would modify it again. There were about 30 people in the class and by the end of it we were a team giving each other high fives, cheering each other on and grunting as we pushed ourselves harder! IT. WAS. AWESOME!

When that class was over we had time for a snack I had peanut butter and carrots this time and then it was off to core training, with the wood sprite. I asked her in the dining hall if this class would be as hard and she said no with a smile, and I was dumb enough to believe her. We walked in and there were mats all over the floor with sticky notes on them for different exercises we moved around the class doing two minutes of core strengthening and then two minutes of cardio, this is where I did my first burpie (modified but eventually I will rock a burpie!) This back and forth went on for forty-five minutes and with each minute it got more and more intense. I was pushed to go harder and further and I did. I can honestly say I tried my hardest today.

I then chose to go to another stretch class instead of the pool. It felt great to feel my body move and find new positions that made my body feel better. After stretch it was back to a class on nutrition, where I decided to make an appointment with the dietician to create an after-care plan for myself. Then it was time for dinner, shrimp quesadilla with cheese and a salad with bananas covered in chocolate for dessert, YUM! Then straight to the room to shower and sleep!

Today I learned then I can push myself farther than I ever thought I could. I am really good at working hard for others and today for the first time I worked really hard for me, and it was hard and scary and life changingly awesome!  I pushed myself to places I never have and felt for the first time I could be an athlete, my body was worthy of being healthy. It's amazing how you feel when you are pushed to your limit and then push harder. I know tomorrow I will need to make a slower pace on the hike so my body does not tense and I can finish the hike without anxiety even if I am in the back of the group, because I am in the group and that's what's important.

My body is tiered but in some ways I feel more alive than I ever have. I am so grateful for all of the love and support I have from friends, family, and my City Year family. I came back to the room after lunch to change my clothes, AGAIN, and I read the messages people had sent me on facebook and just cried at all of the support that rang through those messages. You are all in this with me and I feel your love and support surrounding me! I don't know anyone as lucky as I am to have such a remarkable network of amazing people who are cheering me on.

I saw a monarch butterfly almost every time I walked to class and it made me stop, breathe, and feel grateful for this experience. It also reminded me that I can transform and this whole week is all about learning to fly.  Off to bed. I have a hike to rock in the morning.