I have something to learn from babies. They are a running theme in my life this year. A week or so before I went to BLR my partner at work had his first baby. He was perfect! Born healthy and happy. But as I began my journey to better myself the person I depend most on at work was learning how to be a dad and take care of a human (I guess we were both learning how to take care of a human, his was just much smaller and can't say words.)
When I got back from BLR there was a new pregnancy. Another friend at work was pregnant. This pregnancy was not as easy. It was her second baby and she went on bed rest a month or so before her due date. Her little guy was born healthy but tiny and needed a little time in the "baby tanning bed" for his jaundice. He has a great big brother and is now thriving and growing every day.
Amidst all these work babies, my sister got pregnant! She had been working on getting pregnant for over a year. She had miscarried and there was lots of prayer and worry but then it happened. I didn't really get excited until Christmas, when I saw her belly and felt that tiny little guy kick. I knew this guy was going to have to be a fighter. Every night I would pray for him to hold on. I would fall asleep praying, "hold on little spider monkey, hold on!" Until I got a call in the middle of the night from my dad. Ami was bleeding, they rushed her to the hospital.
I got on my knees in my living room 1,000 miles away from my sister and her baby and I prayed. I prayed hard and I asked God to do what was right for my sister. To save her from pain or hurt. To take that little tiny baby in his hands and to bless my sister so that she could be the mother she always wanted to be. Then I started emailing friends to pray. I wanted to fly home but something kept me here and I made the decision to go to my church retreat, where we had unexpected snow. I had no cell service and was snowed in and then he was born.
Robert Charles came on his own time. He was three months early and barely 3lbs but he was here and is here. Growing and thriving and teaching us, teaching me what strength looks like.
Tonight my friends had their second child. They lost their first son the day he was born. I can remember praying for them and for healing. They have been such amazing parents to their first son. Honoring him in a myriad of ways and sharing their story with tenderness and love. And tonight they have a little boy in their arms that they will love along side their first child!
So I am sitting here weeping, overwhelmed with joy and appreciation. I have really been struggling lately with anxiety and worry, about my future, about work, and about not being motivated. Tonight as I reflect on all of these miracles I am surrounded by, I am humbled by the truth that God is Good.
I am so lucky that I get to celebrate the joys, the sorrows, the journey of so many lives. Tonight in Las Vegas my baby nephew is being held by his parents and loved with a love that is deeper than any I can imagine. In Milwaukee my friends are holding their son and falling in love more and more every moment. And in Little Rock there is a 10 month old and a 3 month old tucked into bed with sleepy parents nearby filled with love, joy and, exhaustion.
God is Good, and babies are really good.
It's time to take care of myself so that I can love these little lives as long as possible.